Post Bar-tum Depression and Anxiety

Whether they admit it or not, all lawyers have gone through it - a mixture of dread, panic, depression, anxiety, fear, regret and self-loathing that lasts the moment they hand in their last Bar bluebook until the results come out.  After all, the bar determines whether the past 4 or 5 (and for some, even more) years have been in vain.  Among ourselves, we share stories of people who broke down, zoned out and gone crazy with the stress.  And then there are those who seemed not to suffer, or learned how to suffer in silence, or worse, become insufferable for their over-confidence. 

One of our graduates currently on this vigil describes it like this:

i think the bar scarred me for life and i can only get over it once i’m sure i passed. til then, i’ll continue begging for a miracle. if you’ve read harry potter, the bar was like a dementor that sucked my happy thoughts…it left me empty and always in fear. graduates like me who had just taken the bar are of lowest in rank in the law world… we’re neither here nor there. we need to take everything — including the stinkiest crap — to muster enough good karma to get at least 75%. needless to say, we are at the mercy of the fates. hahaha! drama ba?

The karma part is right on money.  Before I took the bar, I went with a group of law classmates for lunch at the (then) new Rack’s restaurant along Tomas Morato.  The bill arrived and it was discovered that about half of the orders were not reflected.  So, we sent it back.  Still, some items were missing.  So, we sent it back two more times before they got it right.  All this to avoid bad karma.  And then there’s the pilgrimage to Manaoag to have your sacred bar implements blessed at the shrine to the Lady of Manaoag.  I wonder what the priest thought when he saw sign pens, ink cartridges and fountain pens beside rosaries waiting for the obligatory sprinkle of holy water.  Believe me, you’re never as holy as when you take the bar.  It’s downhill from there.

So, to the folks who spent four September Sundays worshipping at the Bar temple along Taft Avenue:  Always remember that to the people in your life who matter, you are in their hearts, a lawyer; even if the Supreme Court doesn’t know it yet.  All the best.