Why Don’t They Get It?

August 20, 2005

Malacanang’s Bobby Tiglao denied the President was in tears when she left her meeting with Archbishop Lagdameo.  What’s wrong with you, man?

We want her to cry!  We want to see her in tears like Dinky Soliman with snot running down to her lips, puffy eyes, with tearful references to her kids and something about looking at yourself in the mirror in the morning.  

No mascara please.  The last thing we need is a President looking like a racoon.  We’re going for sympathy here!  Not comedy.

We want our President to be human for a change.  To admit she was wrong. That she made a mistake. That she’s really sorry. Really really really sorry.  Sorry enough to kick all her family members and cronies out of government (she can quietly put them back in when the dust settles).  She should go to confession.  Attend prayer rallies.  Ask forgiveness from God, Allah, Jose Rizal and whatever deity you have.  Get on her knees, spread out her arms and raise her eyes to heaven  . . . for three days straight.  Go out to the EDSA Shrine and go on a one-day hunger strike and give Fr. Reyes a chance to run for a change.  Get herself nailed on a cross in Pampanga. Self-flagellate. Walk on glass. Walk on her knees in Antipolo after walking all the way from Malacanang. 

And we’ll forgive her. 

All of us.

Promise.